KLIPDALE RALLY

Fresh from a win in Gauteng Jacques and I were quite confident that we had a chance to pull off two wins in two weekends. Confident but rally-wise, not absolutely sure.

Unlike on the Hall Speed Rally we sported brand new helmets and goodness knows that was a relief as during the first two rallies since our double come-back, I never knew if Jacques heard my call or not, while I did not hear a thing he said. He is not good at explaining with his fingers, much like the oke who interpreted what Obama did not say during Mandela’s funeral. Except if it comes to the middle finger International sign which can mean a variety of things.

We checked the car as well as could be expected, I went through the notes in quite a hurry on Friday eve, changed a few calls and realized one thing – this rally was going to be fast! Very fast!

The “fast” side of it did not worry me too much, but what did, was that quite a few important instructions had no distances or clear markers before them and there was not enough time to transfer that from the road-book on to the notes.

So it was time to include a little bit of motorsport in the evening prayer and hope the communication line worked better than our old helmets did.

I knew the Subaru was capable of running well in excess of 200k/h and worked out that it would take around 3s to close a gap of 200m. Not enough time to say “Oh F..”

So I decided to implement a few “brake markers” where possible.

Stage 1 – I was sort of prepared for speed but this was scary shit. The bloody car would not stop pulling until you let go of the far-right pedal and pump the middle one a shot or two.

Still I enjoyed sitting with eyes popped and mouth moving up and down and sideways at the same time. Pumping out info as fast as possible.

When we arrived at a Crest Jump Down after about 600m into the stage – we went flying.

I then realised that this was the type of call I removed from the notes for later stages. I left this one in, only to feel what these calls would be like.

The way and how far we flew, was not ver encouraging.

We hit that Crest like a plane crashlanding on water. The only difference was there was no water.

The car tilted a little sideways, landed and placed all the horses on all the wheels to get us out of there.

I was worried, if this one did not have a warning in – what about those with warnings?

Then I thought by myself – maybe it did have a warning on the original notes – but a certain navigator decided to  ignored it?

Oh dear, oh dear, this promised to be a long and stressful day.

Then, wait for it – as true as a Subaru has a boxer engine mounted in it, exactly like in the Gauteng event, I again turned two pages at a time!

Thank goodness only for a second or two but long enough to call a “Very long Left One see 450” instead of “short Hairpin Left – see 340 down!”

When I looked up, I saw the bridge I recalled from the video that made me lie awake for an hour the previous night and navigated by hand mouth and whatever I could point with to get us past that point.

Luckily I remembered the calls except for the fact that the Left 4 after the bridge tightened to a “Care Left8” – only Jacques’ incredible reflexes and my faith, got us through that one.

He said something over the intercom – but I knew I did not hear correctly – my son would not call his daddy a forking idjit!

Now more settled in – not wondering too much about what was said and what not, I got into the swing and we posted a very good time, or so I thought.

The marshal wrote down a time equal to the second fastest through the stage.

I knew that, that was simply not possible as we would then trail the leaders Richard Slamet with Tom Jones or what,s his name, singing the Notes, by almost 30 seconds!

How the hell do you make up 30 seconds when you have been going better than well?

I could find about 12 to 15 seconds thinking back, but 30? No ways! If this was true, we were in trouble.

Stage Two was a repeat of the first one, And Jacques opened up a little more, not worried about little issues called “Crest jump downs” and with me now wide awake turning one page at a time – we blew the lid right off the top of that stage, by breaking the eight minute barrier, clocking a more than respectable 7m59s through the stage.

After the marshal did a breakdance to celebrate with us, he informed us that he made a note of our time on the first run and that he accidentally recorded the incorrect seconds – thinking about Oswaldo Mendes’ time.

Our first run time was corrected to 8m16 and we were now leading the event by 22 seconds.

Then came Stage 3 – all was going quite well – car felt great and the navigator was on the ball or so the crowd thought – especially when we did a second run through the “farm yard” pastbthe same spectators to show our appreciation to the fans!

How the hell do navigators look up to see every instruction, read the notes, tell the driver all he needs to know, like “Go man go!” and then when you go through a gate and see bunting all over the show, arrows pointing in different directions, tracks going left where they should have gone right and so on – still keep your cool?

I sounded like a mix between Miemie Coertse and Al Debbo – carried on like that oke on the Madiba funeral and Jacques spoke fluent Greek or at least a language where every second word starts with an “F”.

I swear I guessed our way out of there and we were back on the route – but then we saw dust either approaching or going away! Rally’s own personal Murphy shouted at me that we were approaching a rally car coming our way at full tilt with only a crest between us.

Man that was scary stuff and I told Jacques exactly that! He assured me that we were catching the car ahead and I recited a little piece from Psalm 23 and read the notes!

Jacques was right and thank goodness I was wrong – but neither situations helped us as we did indeed catch up with the car ahead of us and voílà as we came into the farm yard, we could not see anything but a cloud of dust.

First Jacques and then when he shouted at me, who were reading notes like I have never read before – “where are we” I looked up and said – “In the Western Cape!” which of course was not the right answer at that stage – if you will forgive the pun.

We were in an open area with no arrows pointing the way and could see nothing but dust anyway.

The area did not even look familiar to me and when I called a R4 tightens to R5.

Jacques drove that and I knew I forked up badly. That R4 only tightened slightly if you came in on a wide approach! The way we approached, I should have called at least a Right 7.

When I informed my driver politely that we were on the wrong route – he did not miss a beat and turnd back.

Then the dear Lord showed me a palm tree I recalled from the video on the notes, around which we had to make a hairpin.  I knew the route from there and I shouted “go for the Palm tree” and Jacques did. As we passed the same spectators for the second time I waved like the merry Queen of England and they acknowledged the gesture! Don’t have an idea why some of them like Billy Bright crawled around laughing – I did not see anything funny!

Then we put our heads down and cleared that farmyard and what followed as if we were born and bred on that farm! Still our detour cost us and we were trailing – this time genuine, the leaders Richard Slamet and Derek Jacobs by a handsome 20 seconds!

So – the race was now on! I told the opposition exactly that and told Jacques to go like hell – but predicted that the leaders would over do it to try and keep the Road Eaters at bay!

Stage Four –  a repeat of Stage 3 – though the farm yard again!

We pulled away and I knew – the time has arrived NOT to make a single mistake while reading the notes. Jacques was in a hurry!

This time through, we cleared that farm yard leaving spectators hatless and chickens eggless for three days. The water tank developed a touted mouth!

Anither display of how you should drive a rally car! Sheet, it was great to be inside that monster.

Back into the lead by 70 odd seconds or so!

This was a perfect display of someone who knew his way behind the steering-wheel of a rally car. Pace stepped up by at least 15% completing a faultless run!

That is how I like to see it done!

Stage 5 – all went well – we were truly flying again – although I asked for a slight reduction in speed.

About two kms from the finish, as we approached our brake marker which was a windmill on the side of the road – Jacques braked, geared down and smoothly slit the Scooby around an acute hairpin, much to the delight of the spectators.

Then – BANG!!

Jacques pulled to the side of the road and announced our retirement due to a broken diff! The spare parts lying over a distance of 120m supplied enough evidence of the fact that he was right.

The rest is history and because so much has been said about the event already – I will finish off by saying that it was wonderful to be between real rally enthusiasts again – real people who carry the sport and not a chip on their shoulders.

I hoped in a way that I would meet a certain navigator whom I last saw in Gauteng, but that was not to be and it meant that everyone would enjoy the day.

Believe me when I say that while writing this article I started mentioning names of special old friends, opponents and I suppose a fan or two, but then decided not to look for trouble.

A special thanks though must go to Carl Peskin – one of the best navigators we have who came out to help immediately when he saw my driver brain kick in over my navigation skills.

CoC Kesevan Naidoo was never too busy or important to step in and help to get us into the event and to do his best under very difficult circumstances to present an enjoyable event.

It was so nice to see how dedicated marshals were and how well they moved in when and where required and when one of them fell ill, they simply adapted and the event carried on.

The notes were well written and only needed a tweak here and there – the route was great, scary but great!

The Haigh-Smith family who have done more for rallying that most people realise once again went out of their way to make us truly feel at home.

Then the ever present and friendly Patrick Vermaak!

It always saddens me when I see some special awards being handed to people who did more damage to the sport than all of us together, receive some of the highest accolades possible – while someone like Patrick who has done more for especially rallying – not even get a two second long thank you!

Then especially after an event like this, it is heartening on the one side to know and sad on the other hand, that it is actually only one or two percent of all involved who do not belong in the sport – let alone be appointed in positions where they can do more harm that a dishonest president in parliament.

Thanks also to Herman Mathee and Ruan Reynders for the entertainment where we could spectate a bit – you guys get my Man of the Match award and goodness knows why every pane on that Datsun GX was not dented!

John and Derick Clift in the Hilux Bakkie and the Jones and Gray Beemer teams also deserves a special mention!

A special mention also to Tania Vermaak on her first appearance as navigator for Andy Haigh-Smith.

Thank you to the organisers, the officials and then of course the merry men in their rally machines, the fact that we did not manage to do what we set out to do, does not matter – it was truly great fun to be with all you guys.

Now for the York Timbers Rally in Sabie!